I realise that when you totally give in all to the girl you like somehow u will feel over sensitive over small things but you will also make her feel irritated which is very irony. I love my laopo i will give in anything to her i will love her with all i got adore her protect her with my life and if i could i will nv leave her (LOVE) !!! Laopo i jus want u to know im always with u, whenever anythings happen to u or if u r sad JUST CALL ME FIRST!!LOLX if im really engage ,SMS ME and i will call u asap! please dun find other ppl first cause im ur laogong what u will make me feel useless and the inability of taking care of u, i jus wish tt u will inform to me anything when u r troubled or sad. Secondly if u r angry or irritated pls hint me, u know im retarted !!hint me and i will make u happy and really sorry la =D thirdly i jus hope that u can always spare me the time for jus u and me tgt jus like what we did today ! i really enjoy the day we had spend tgt!! Fourthly BE HAPPY and dun be sturborn =P i will not lied to u one unless im really mistaken on anything! LOVE U ALOT muack ! Night ^^v

Paint the hearts with love that will not fade away=)
9:44 AM

Happy birthday laogong!!=D I love you!! Rmb that this year, when u are 18th. U have laopo to celebrate with you!!^^v And i believe everyyear from now.. i will be by ur side, each year adding one candle to you!! Finally made u spit out wat u wanted. Yes no doubt laopo intend to get it for ur as ur present^^ cause ive got no idea what else u wanted =P Well.. i think it will still be a surprise even if i blog here cause i dont think u will go check it out=D Yes. Its still early and i haven set out to buy it yet=D And if i cannot find it in the sports link... then it will be plan B where i will get laogong a teddy bear in mini toons!!=D But i think i can find the chin up bar!!Way to DB!!

Labels: Laopo's journal

Paint the hearts with love that will not fade away=)
4:34 PM

Today my laopo is feeling uncomfortable but she still went for her POA prelim paper!!!Today i walk her to school and went home sleep beacuse i was to tired !!At about 9 plus i woke up and call her but she didnt pick up i keep calling her up till 1130 she still didnt pick up. Im worried anout her!! Is she sleeping? Or Falling Sick on her Bed!!?? No matter how i call i jus couldnt reached her !! IM SO WORRIED!!!! PLEASE PICK UP MY CALL !!! continue calling!!=(

Paint the hearts with love that will not fade away=)
8:33 AM

Haha=D Finally took my most worried math prelim today. Almost late for the second paper. Walked into the hall when everyone is already sitted. Got stared at=( Well.. been having a headache the whole day. Its not that im finding an excuse for doing badly. You know that i dont really care even if did @.@ Get to know some vocalist of my age that performs almost every week. How envious. I always had this misconception that music is for the rich. This time i differ. Music is for everyone=D Although i know my voice is rotting... i hope i can make a way out for myself!! Hahas i sent my demos to jon and he said its really good=D im so pleased! At least my efforts are paid off. Lets pray we can play far!! Laogong camt to my house again. Im sleeping again. Feel like im a pig LOLS! Here he comes!! Tmr is science pratical exam. Did not make any preperations. my headache is much better after i dig out panadol=D Im going to talk to laogong and play and sleep le! Good mood=D

Labels: Laopo's journal

Paint the hearts with love that will not fade away=)
8:55 AM

Had not blogged this few days!!I'm not a birthday person to be honest!!This is also not an excuse for not having a proper celebration for my Laopo!!I'm SO SO SO SO SO SO SO sorry for not giving u a wonderful and memorable birthday!!What i normally do for my birthday is just taking HONG BAO from my mother and siblings AND eat cake!!Thats it!I cant really organise things well but i really hope tt i could at least think of something to celebrate with u on the VALENTINE's day and ur birthday!!LOVE U LOADS!!!! Laopo i miss u!!

Paint the hearts with love that will not fade away=)
10:05 PM

Hoho~~ wat did i do all day?? Hmm... woke up at 11 today. Work on nicedancer but didnt make it hahahas!! After that i went played with laogong ^^v intend to study but didnt actually. LOLS. study abit only hahahas. Looks like things is not gonna be as smooth as i tot for my combine humanities. Its really about luck tmr. Going really into originals and did one originals today called 'tear drops' Re wrote the lyrics as i think the previous one is too plain and doesnt make sense. U know some lyrics is just abt putting up sentences to make it rhyme? Yup thats more or less like that=D I didnt do a perfect job anyway at least its better than the previous one with a little bit of story line :D i hope things are going on better for laogong and his mum lols=D After that i will be working on 'Cold room' and prepare for jamming^^v yeah hahaha! been long since i last jammed. My vocal rotting soon. Its so cold today with horny hurdling in his vitagen bottle for some heat. Im on my jacket as well. Went to study from 9 to 11.30 Did 4 chapters? Governance in Singapore, COnflict of the srilanka and northen ireland, bonding singapore,trasnational terrorism. Hope that i have some luck tmr=D Anyways, i think i better go study on venice lols! in case it came out tmr=D LOLS cause only 8 chapters, i wont suay suay tio the 3 i didnt study for=D LOLS!! I miss laogong so much today!! :D Love Khoon!

Labels: Laopo's journal

Paint the hearts with love that will not fade away=)
8:51 AM

*rub rub eyes* LOLS! my eyes is so itchy now=D Hmm~~ finally im 16!! Ask me how i spend my day?? Hmm~ most of the time crying LOLS. Im serious!!=D hmm~ maybe cause i tot of myself as someone more important.. but sad to say, im just so insignificant. LOLS. How should i put it.. oh.. quanyin and mandy didnt greet me for my birthday. Impact hahahas!! Yes im going to receieve belated birthday present from lumch =( haix. Makes me feel so retarded. That time even poh jia min's birthday they got her ballons and all =P not jealous. just upset. Its not fair cause most of my friends are from outside school which are guys. Guys buying present is @.@ and somemore im not even their gf LOLS. Anyways, just feel damn sad =( Cant believe khoon also forgot abt time 12:02. hahahas. More sad hahahas=P but nvm la =D He is not the first one that forget le. So hahahas....Went to khoon's house after that. Nothing to do other than audi and sleep. So i sleep lo... sleep at the way till 4. Realise that nobody is actually going to celebrate with me, decide to celebrate for myself as usual! Its really no big deal to celebrate birthday myself!! LOLS. Nobody has the heart to do it for me, so do it myself!! Wont die from it... Though said that... its just disappointing... thought this year with khoon would be different, on second thought, laogong isnt someone that celebrates, so nobody to blame!! Just like previous years, i would hang out alone to entertain myself and be happy. But this year.. for some reason, just cant cheer up?? LOLS! Maybe im too greedy and was expecting much more from friends. Who knows? I dont deserve it lo..Every year ive been telling myself not to be the same next year, convincing myself that sooner or later, my birthday, i will someone that would bring me out to have fun. Too bad!! This year is over and im still clinging on to this wish=D I tot i would do wat i did, went to plaza sing, intend to play basketball in arcade, saw H. So might as well forget it. Dont want him to see him in my red eye. LOLS later spread in the whole school i damn malu. Headline news:" Jiahuan has no friends to celebrate birthday for her--How pathetic!!" So i went off. Maybe i should get myself a chocolate instead of a cake which everytime i sing my birthday song i would light up with, cause everytime i dont eat abit waste. LOLS. But i cant find my crunchie, so got annoyed and went to take bus home. Laogong sorry, made u feel irritated=( Cause i just cant bring myself to spit out the words :" I feel so weak. u didnt bring me out to have fun today. Such a bad feeling!" On the bus, i saw laogong's concern. The exact same expression as alvin he revealed to me. Dont-know-wat-to-do-to-stop-me-from-crying-face. LOLS. In the end still make laogong cry. Hahahas. Dont need to celebrate le la. Not important anymore. Its the heart that matters. And.. once said, the meaning would be different... anyways, just got really really depressed. Hmm..how many presents do i have today?? None. Hahahas!! =P i realised i mind. I mean.. even if its a card, thats a thought. Even if its something recycled,even if its a ten cent sweet, even if its a peice of paper with wordings, its appreciated. At least i would know im not forgotten...

I wonder why this is always happening lols. Am i not good enough a friend to deserve that greeting from you? Isnt my concerns over every person spilling out. I cant care for every single one equally.. i will be empty soon... Am i not good to them?? I wonder.. LOL. OR AM I JUST TOO PARTICULAR ABT BDAY?? ITS JUST A NORMAL DAY.SHOULDNT HAVE FREAKED ME OUT LIKE THAT!! =( I really don know. I only know im in agony everytime i think of how i am treated by those i gave my care and concerns for. Life isnt fair. I know its rude to demand for anything because giving others love doesnt ask for any repay, but i just dont know why i feel so angry for that moment. Look!! its been 16 years and it just proved that i lived my life as a failure for so long...You know.. 'the same girl that bring smile to everyone's face, could very possibly be the girl that crys to herself every silent night...I hate myself!!!=( Got tired of reflecting and asking myself why. Forget it.. Today is just so.. disappointing.

Labels: Laopo's journal

Paint the hearts with love that will not fade away=)
5:25 AM